I See You
by VyxenSkye
Summary: A mission gone wrong brings a chance for a new life as a newly blinded Jim and his caretaker Spock head to a recuperation facility in the mountains of Montana. It is there that Spock finally makes the move, and Jim learns to see anew.
1. Breathing Hope of New Life

I See You

By: Hitokiri Musei

Rated: T

Summary: A mission gone wrong brings a chance for a new life as a newly blinded Jim and his caretaker Spock head to a recuperation facility in the mountains of Montana. It is there that Spock finally makes the move, and Jim learns to see anew.

Alright, here we go…. This is my first big foray into the realm of Star Trek fanfiction, although I have been reading it for a while and have been writing a bit. I've seen all of TOS as well as the movies, and I've seen the 2009 film multiple times, so I think I've got a fairly good hold on their characters, but I will admit; I'm finding Spock difficult, I'm connecting a lot easier with Jim. If you guys have suggestions to help me, I welcome them with open arms, so to speak.

This story is partially inspired by "Avatar," which, if you have not seen, I strongly suggest you do. That movie is powerful; it speaks on a level I haven't seen in a long time. From that, the idea was born, and as such "I See You" was begun. As the story is inspired by "Avatar," I take the title, as well as any lyrics you may see, such as titles of the chapters, from the "Avatar" theme, "I See You" by Leona Lewis. It's a gorgeous song, and helped begin this fic.

This was posted after a chapter of my "word of the week" story, "Essence" was updated with a section of this story, and I got such a postive response, I decided to post this. I hope that my readers of Essence find this as entertaining as they do that. If you haven't read that, then welcome to this one!

I do hope I can offer you a good read, and I look forward to reading any compliments or criticism that any of my readers may have. I hope that you enjoy.

(Enormous intro is enormous...)

I don't own the Star Trek characters, nor the song "I See You," or "Avatar."

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Chapter 1

Breathing Hope of New Life

"You know, Spock, you really don't need to do this. I can survive just fine on my own."

"I find that statement highly illogical, Captain; as you are currently en route to unfamiliar surroundings and have no sight with which to guide you. As your First Officer it is my duty to ensure that you are safe." Spock replied, his dark eyes briefly flickering towards the blond man sitting at his side.

James T. Kirk sighed faintly at those words, his blank ice blue eyes sliding closed in a faint look of exasperation. "Spock… how many times do I have to tell you, call me Jim. Especially now, we're not even on the _Enterprise_."

"Jim." Spock repeated quietly, though he made no attempt to continue further.

The younger man shook his head faintly, opening his eyes once more, though the action proved to have no effect. He saw nothing but endless black before him, his eyes were useless. "Even so, Spock, there are a lot of people at this place that are there to help me. With me out, you should have stayed on the _Enterprise_."

"The ship will continue to function without me." Spock said, a hint of firmness that only Jim could catch coming through. "We are on leave for approximately 3 months until you are fully recovered from the shock to your system. Also, she is grounded for these months for repairs and renovations. She is not scheduled to leave for another 4 months."

Jim huffed faintly at that sentence, placing his chin in his hand and turning his face away from the direction Spock's voice was emanating from. "I'm not even all that shocked. It's not like I got injured that badly…"

Spock's disagreement was clear in his tone as he responded. "During an attack on the ship we were located in an area which was decimated by phaser fire. As a result of that you suffered a severe injury to your upper left leg, broke approximately 6 ribs, and were covered in broken glass and metal; as such…"

"I know, Spock, I can remember it as well as you can." Jim said roughly, cutting off his First. "I don't need you to remind me of it."

The young captain closed his eyes, pressing his eyelids together in an attempt to make stars burst in his blackened vision, but to no success. He knew that Spock would come with him no matter what he said; he figured that the Vulcan assumed that it was his fault that Jim had gotten hurt. This was and wasn't true; while Jim had been protecting his First, that didn't make it his fault.

The injuries Spock had been recounting were serious, but Jim didn't want to admit that he might be out longer than he wanted to be. They had been on a standard mission when they had been attacked by a rogue Romulan vessel, what Jim now suspected had been something left of Nero's deranged plans. The _Enterprise_ had been caught unawares and damaged severely, only barely able to limp back to Earth for serious repairs.

Jim himself had been on one of the decks that had nearly been ripped open by the phasers from the enemy ship. Shredded metal had ripped through his left thigh, tearing away muscle and scraping the bone. The leg had been repaired to the best of Bones's ability, and some muscle tissue had been rebuilt, but now Jim had to rebuild most what had been lost, as the stress on him at the time had been too great to add more. His ribs had been fixed without much trouble, but his entire torso was still sore and tender. Other various cuts and bruises had been taken care of, but the one thing that Bones had to admit defeat on was Jim's eyes.

Shattering glass and metal had rained down on the young captain, and, in an attempt to shield Spock, he had been blasted straight in the face. According to Bones, the shards had ripped through his cornea and down through the optic nerve. The lenses in both eyes had been torn apart, and the only way to help had been to remove the dead tissue so they wouldn't cause problems in what was left. An eye transplant had been considered briefly, but that would only replace the cornea.

Bones suspected that he may be able to completely restore Jim's sight with surgery, but it would be many, and most likely with some time between, as it had taken nearly 3 hours just to repair them enough to make them not so ugly to look at. There was a lot of damage to repair, including lenses, cornea, many of the muscles controlling movement within the eye itself, and the nerves connecting to the brain. Besides that; in the words of Bones, Jim just _had_ to be allergic to something vital in half the surgeries that would normally make this a much easier problem to fix, and as such, they had to use many older procedures so they could go around any reactions that the young captain might have.

He could remain a Starfleet Captain thanks to the advances in technology; he would have no trouble captaining the _Enterprise_ even blind. Many things could be sent directly to his mind; images on the main screen, statistics he needed to know and such. This was another thing that the _Enterprise_ was going through; upgrades for her captain for the time that he remained blind.

In order to rebuild his damaged leg and to learn to live as a blind man for a while, Bones had sent him to a type of therapeutic facility in the mountains of Montana. While at first Jim had protested, he knew that this would be the best place for him to recover. Even though Montana was different from Iowa, a bit wetter and greener, the wild was where he felt free, much like being out in the dark of space; he felt like he belonged there. He would be able to roam free in the mountains and woods, building on not only his damaged leg, but his confidence in being able to move while blind.

He heard the engines of the shuttle they were on begin to tone down, a subtle sound he probably wouldn't have been able to hear before, and knew that they were nearly at their destination. Turning slightly, he faced Spock's direction once more. "And what about you, Spock? I know that you can't be perfectly fine."

"I received minor injuries, Captain…"

"Jim."

"… Jim, because of you. I am functioning adequately at this time."

The blond man waved a hand slightly in the Vulcan's direction. "Yea, yea, I got it." The shuttle shifted slightly beneath his feet as it hit the ground, and Jim waited impatiently for the signal that they could get off. While he loved space and being in the _Enterprise_, the small shuttle that they were in now made him nervous. The lack of his sight combined with the overly warm, close quarters was making him feel almost claustrophobic. He wanted to feel the openness around him.

Exiting the shuttle was a fairly quick affair, and as Jim stepped out into open air he leaned his head back, breathing deep of the clear air. Montana was one of the places that he loved the most; he had gone there many times throughout his life, as his mother's family had lived there at some point. He was tempted to ignore Bones's orders to go to the facility and see if he could go there if they were still around. At first that hadn't been part of the plan, as he had been to go alone to the facility, but with Spock with him… it opened up possibilities.

Speaking of Spock…

Jim turned his head slightly as he felt the Vulcan come up behind him and stop just short of touching him. "Well, which way, Spock?"

There was a moment of hesitation before a warm hand touched his wrist, lifting it so he could place his fingers in the crook of an elbow. "This way, Captain."

Jim sighed faintly, putting gentle pressure on Spock's bicep. "_Jim,_ Spock, call me Jim."

The Vulcan gave no response, but Jim could feel the tension in his arm where they touched. Out of respect for his First, the young man tried to keep their contact to a minimum, but as they were heading into unfamiliar territory, he did need the help, not only in navigating, but also in walking. Before the accident, he probably would have relished in the opportunity to be able to touch Spock this much; the Vulcan was extremely attractive. If he wasn't, well… a _Vulcan_, Jim would have tried to bed him before.

Grudgingly, the young captain wrapped his right hand tighter around the cane in his grasp, carefully moving forward the way that Bones had instructed; the cane advancing at the same time as his injured leg. While the leg functioned normally, it was too weak to hold him upright, and so he needed the assistance of the cane.

Spock had at first tried letting Jim just follow him without contact, but he didn't make enough noise for Jim to accurately follow him, and with the standing cane, Jim didn't have the standard blind cane; which he refused to use anyway. After the younger man had nearly fallen several times, Spock had finally relented and allowed Jim to be led by holding onto his elbow, the standard escort position. Jim could still feel how tense the Vulcan was every time it happened, but it was slowly lessening as Spock got used to it.

They walked quietly for most of the way, and Jim tried to focus himself to learn his surroundings. He could hear the soft thud of their feet against the ground, too light to be any type of man-made floor, but too hard to be grass or the like. He assumed it was packed dirt, with a slight uneven quality but not too difficult to navigate. A moment later Spock pressed back slightly with his elbow and Jim came to a stop, at which point he heard a door in front of them open and Spock led him through.

"Oh, hello Captain Kirk, Commander Spock! We've been expecting the both of you for some time now. I trust your journey went well?"

Jim turned his head towards the bright voice, letting a slight smile come over his features. By the sound of the voice it was a young woman, probably not over 25. "As well as can be, I never really did like shuttle travel." Jim said good-naturedly. He blinked as he felt a presence come close, and then the young woman spoke once more, this time right in front of him.

"I have to agree with you, I'm far too much one for open spaces. You'll like it here though, lots of fresh air and open sky. If you'll come with me, Captain, Commander, I'll take you to your home for the next few months."

Jim smiled, slipping his hand from Spock's arm to extend it in her direction. "Please, call me Jim, "Captain" sounds so distant. You'll have to forgive the left-handed shake."

She was smiling in her next words, Jim could hear. "It's no problem at all, Cap… um, Jim. Sorry, you're going to have to give me time to get used to that. It's not often you find a Captain way out here, so we try to be formal. I'm Kimimela, but you can call me Kim." Her hand was small and warm in Jim's grasp, and he tilted his head slightly.

"Kimimela? Isn't that a Sioux name?"

Her smile seemed larger. "That's right, good call. My mom and dad are both half Sioux, and I've pretty much been raised that way. How did you know?"

Jim couldn't help but return her smile. "My mom has Sioux in her. I know a bit of language, but not a whole lot. I came out here a lot when I was a kid."

There was a tug on his hand as Kim started to lead him, and he followed her without much persuasion. He could feel Spock walking quietly at his side, so he turned his attention back towards Kim. "I didn't know that bit about you." she murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. "You'd think with how many of us there are out here I would have heard about you coming to Montana when you were younger. You are pretty famous, you know."

Jim chuckled faintly, feeling pride swell in his chest. "Yea, well…"

Her laughter was light in his ears. "Not at all big-headed, too. Ah, here we are!" She came to a stop and Jim heard the rustling of fabric and then keys, and then a door was unlocked. "Not too big, 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, and two bathrooms, all on one floor so you don't have to worry about stairs. We can work on those later if you want to; we have places to do that so you won't hurt yourself trying the first time. Although, with the Commander here, I'm sure you'll be fine. If you need anything, let me know, I'll be your go-to for whatever you need. Anything you want to know before I leave you to get all settled?"

The blond started to shake his head, but stopped. "There are horses here, right? Where are they?"

Again Kim laughed. "You are Sioux after all. I'll show the Commander where the maps are, but they're not far. There are people there around the clock that can help you out once you get there. Alright, anything that you need to know about the locations is right here, Commander…"

Jim let his attention wander away from the young woman, taking a step back outside of the door where she had led him. He stumbled briefly as his cane hit the doorstop, but regained his balance easily and took a few steps forward. He felt his cane sink into grass and let a smile come to his face, carefully lowering himself to the ground and burying his fingers in the cool green.

He loved space; it was a part of him, a freedom that he couldn't help but be drawn to. But the wild freedom of the mountains… that was another kind of love and another kind of free. Jim raised his head, closing his eyes as the sun beamed down on his skin, the fresh air filling his lungs and renewing him in a way that he hadn't experienced in a while.

"It was nice to meet you!" he heard Kim's voice from just ahead of him. "I have to get going now, let me know if you need anything!"

Jim lifted a hand absently in her direction, not knowing if she saw it or not. There was no response from her, and so he turned his face back to the sky.

"Shall we go inside?"

"I suppose." The young man said lightly, turning his head in the direction Spock's voice had come from. "No time like the present to start getting used to the house, right? You'll have to help me up though, nothing really to grab onto to help me."

He held up a hand, and it was only a fraction of a second before Spock's abnormally warm hand wrapped around his wrist, avoiding skin, heaving him upright easily and holding him there until he got his cane under him. "Thanks Spock."

"You are welcome… Jim."

Jim couldn't help but smile as he headed after Spock into the house, his hand in the crook of the Vulcan's elbow.

_Here's hoping for the start of a whole new life…._

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As you've probably guessed, most of my medical type things were made up; I needed it to be this way for the sake of my story, so i took some license. I hope you guys liked it, and please review!\

(OMG I just realized this is my 100th story! -throws confetti- I can't believe it!)


	2. I Never Pictured

Alright, moving on. I had some good response for the first chapter, which made me excited, so I hope that I continue to please you guys! I took a bit of liberty here; Vulcans are described as vegetarians, so I figured that dairy products and things like eggs would be something Spock might eat. I hope you guys enjoy!

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Chapter 2

I Never Pictured

Spock awoke early, his internal clock waking him at his normal time. He settled on the floor for an hour of meditation, but the sounds of movement made him rise after only 45 minutes. The Vulcan cleaned himself up for the day, and then headed out of his room. He knew that his Captain would need help, whether or not he wanted it.

To his utter surprise, he found Jim already halfway through the task of making breakfast. Blinking in faint shock, Spock watched quietly for a moment as Jim carefully felt his way around what Spock knew to be a 21st Century stove, cracking eggs in the pan before moving to remove toast from the toaster.

"Fascinating." Spock murmured softly.

Jim let out a faint shout of surprise, whirling reflexively to turn his blind eyes to the sound, his hands clenched into fists before he managed to relax. "Spock! Jesus, don't do that, you scared the daylights out of me!"

Spock had to restrain a smile at the look on his Captain's features, carefully schooling his features back into blankness before responding. "Forgive me, Captain, I was merely interested to see you performing these tasks so well without the use of your sight."

"Psh, I could cook blind before I was… well, _actually_ blind, and it's Jim, Spock." the blond man said lightly, turning around and returning to the task ahead of him. Spock moved forward to observe with interest, his dark eyes following Jim's every move.

Jim appeared to be using mostly smell and hearing to navigate what he was doing. He knew where the stove was by the sound of the eggs in the pan, easily avoiding the hot surface. Jim turned his head slightly in his direction, his eyes flicking briefly to Spock before returning towards the counter before him.

"You do eat eggs, right? I wasn't sure about those, but I know that you eat bread, so you'll eat toast…?" His voice sounded tentative.

Spock reflexively nodded before correcting himself. "Yes, as long as there are no meat products, I have no arguments with consuming whatever you decide to cook." Spock watched quietly for a moment before speaking once more. "If you do not mind my asking, how is it that you learned to cook on a primitive stove such as this one?"

Jim's lips quirked in a smile. "It's not exactly archaic, Spock. My mother had one in the farmhouse, and she liked to cook. I learned from her; it was a good way to spend time with her, at least, when she was around." Silence fell for a moment, and Spock sensed that his captain was reliving some sort of old and painful memory.

The sound of Jim's voice called his attention back to the younger man. "I suppose they like to keep them here because cooking is a good hobby that a lot of people have; it's rather soothing to certain people."

Spock nodded to himself; that made sense logically on some level. Hobbies were relaxing for the most part; having the hobby of cooking would calm certain types of people down. He turned his attention back to Jim as the blond carefully turned off the stove after only a second of searching with slender fingers, flashing a smile in Spock's direction.

"Feels like they're done, I hope they are. It's been a while since I've cooked, so you might have to double-check for me."

The Vulcan glanced at the eggs, blinking as he saw that they were perfectly fluffy, yellow and white scrambled eggs, not even a hint of burnt. "They are done very well, Captain. May I ask how you were able to ascertain that they were complete?"

Jim grinned. "Texture. That's how I always told anyway, so it works out in my favor. And Spock, my name is Jim, not 'Captain.' I'm not going to keep telling you."

"Forgive me, Jim, I will try to remember from now on."

In all reality Spock had no troubles remembering that Jim wished him to call him by his name; he just thought it more logical to refer to his superior officer as such. He also felt, somehow, that he had lost the privilege to call Jim by his name after his failure to protect his captain. However, as he was attempting to continue what he saw as a growing friendship between them, he would make an effort to call Jim by his name.

Jim moved carefully around the kitchen, searching slightly with his cane before moving forward. While the cane he held wasn't suited for this purpose, it did well enough in the rather small kitchen, and the blond found his way to the table with no trouble. He moved with enough confidence that it was obvious to Spock that he had been awake for some time, memorizing where everything was.

"How long have you been awake?" Spock asked as he served himself eggs and a few slices of toast, briefly considering before indulging in the jar of strawberry preserve which was in their small fridge.

"Um… About an hour and a half I think." Spock briefly felt surprise; he had not been awoken by Jim moving around, and had not heard him while meditating until he was nearly complete. "I tried to keep quiet cause I figured you were still sleeping."

Spock nodded slightly before speaking. "You did an exceptional job; there is not much that I miss and I did not hear you."

Jim grinned briefly before going at his own plate, easing his way through eating while blind. It took him a few tries to get the hang of where everything was around him without sight, but then he had it no problem and ate with ease. Spock began to eat as well, noticing with interest that Jim was a good cook; the eggs were perfectly scrambled and seasoned well.

"Would it be alright if we headed out to see the horses today?" Jim asked softly about halfway through their meal, glancing up towards Spock.

The Vulcan considered briefly. "I believe it would be wise to work on your memorization skills around this house so you can learn how to find yourself in your surroundings." Jim's face seemed to fall a little, and Spock amended his statement, some place deep in him wrenching at the thought of Jim's sadness. "If you wish it, however, we can visit the stables after we finish eating."

The smile that spread across Jim's face was like the sun rising, and Spock had to restrain the smile that threatened to spread across his own features in return. "Thanks Spock, that would be great." With those words he dug into his breakfast with enthusiasm, his skin seemingly glowing with happiness.

Spock took this moment to study Jim, his dark eyes pensive. His Captain was truly a unique individual, not only in his striking looks and charm, but in his intelligence and wit. With his golden hair, bronzed skin, and crystal blue eyes, he was a stunning sight, and even Spock had to admit that he was a singular creature to look upon. It was a loss that the young man's eyes had been damaged as they had; Spock could still see the damage that remained. Jim's eyes still had their unique color, but the scleras were littered with red abrasions and scars, and his eyelids were crisscrossed with marks as well.

The Vulcan shook himself slightly, turning back to his meal. His mind balked slightly at the thoughts that he entertained of the young man sitting across the table from him, and he pushed them away with ease, turning his thoughts to where Jim wanted to go.

"Why is it that you are so eager to visit horses, Jim? They are merely animals." Spock asked softly, genuinely curious.

Jim let his smile soften slightly. "They are so much more than that, Spock. Horses are… well, honestly, it's hard to explain. I've been around them since I was little, so I have a bit of a connection to them, but that's not all there is to it. I just feel like I belong when I'm around them." He shook his head slightly, setting his fork down on the plate. "I think you're just going to have to see it. I can't tell you much more than that."

Spock accepted that explanation. "Very well. I look forward to seeing the meaning of the words that you cannot express."

The blond chuckled faintly at those words, but nodded. "Yea, me too. It's been too long since I've been around horses."

The Vulcan returned to his meal, slightly curious and eager to see what Jim had in store for him; his Captain was turning out to be a surprisingly complex individual.

* * *

The change that came about his Captain when they reached the stables was surprising and incredibly fascinating for Spock. He watched with interest as Jim breathed deep when they got there, his hand tightening faintly around Spock's bicep before loosening again. The Vulcan turned his attention forward as a tall young man walked towards them with dark hair in a braid down his back and eyes a rather surprising shade of startling green.

"Well now, if it isn't the famous Captain Kirk and Commander Spock! Kimmie told me to be expecting you both before too long, but I must admit I didn't think we'd see you this soon!" He grinned as he came close, and Jim turned his blind eyes towards the heavy, booted footsteps.

"It's nice to meet you." Jim said politely, slipping his hand from Spock's arm to extend it in a shake. "And please, call me Jim. I get enough of that Captain stuff from Spock here."

The tall man laughed lightly, shaking Jim's hand firmly. Spock watched with mild interest, but made no move. "I'm Dakota Kidd, but you can call me Dak, most everyone does. I'm in charge of most of the horses, and I can go ahead and help you get whatever you need."

Jim smiled. "All I need right now is a good horse, it's been far too long since I've been with them. I missed it more than I thought."

Dakota nodded, eyes looking to Spock. "And what about you, Commander? Are you a horse man?"

Spock shook his head minutely, clasping his hands in the small of his back now that Jim had released his arm. "No, I have never ridden a horse before; I am merely here to accompany Jim."

The Vulcan couldn't help but blink as Jim elbowed Dakota rather squarely in the ribs, accurate to a tee even though he couldn't see the other man. "We need to get him up, though, might calm him down a bit. Nothing like the honesty of a horse to get through to a man."

Dak laughed good-naturedly. "Ain't that the truth? So what's your fancy, Jim? Got anything you like in particular?"

Jim shook his head. "Not really, although I must admit I have a bit of a weakness for the American breeds."

Spock watched idly as Dak stroked at his chin. "American, huh? Well then, I think we've got just the horse for you, then. He'll like you; too, you've got a good horsey feel to you. You'll fit right in."

At those words Spock felt a bit of confusion, he didn't see how his captain felt 'horsey,' but he was willing to follow and see what the new man was talking about. Jim allowed himself to be led by the hand once more, and Dak led them down the rows of stalls towards one on the end.

During the short walk Spock observed Jim. The change in the young captain was interesting to watch; the further into the stables they got, the more Jim seemed to brighten. He was standing a little taller, his nose raised slightly and nostrils flared as he inhaled the smell of the horses. He was turning his head left and right slightly, periodically, a motion that Spock suspected was something that he hadn't quite gotten rid of; he was trying to see what was around him. Spock could sense the content radiating off him as well, Jim was projecting the emotion quite fiercely whether he knew it or not.

"Here we are. Jim, I'd like you to meet Lightning Storm; we usually call him Light. Let's see how well you know your horses, Jim. Can you tell me what Light is?" Dak said, his voice light, but curious.

Spock felt a bit of confusion; Jim could not see the animal in front of him, how would he be able to discern what he was? And as for that; Dak must be referring to a sort of sub-species. Spock was currently unaware there was anything other than the simple definition of equine.

The Vulcan turned his head sharply towards his Captain when he heard a gentle clicking sound come from Jim's lips. He quickly discovered that Jim was clicking his tongue, and interestingly enough the horse in the stall shifted forward at the sound, raising his head from the ground and draping it's neck over the plastic-covered chain that kept the stall cut off.

Jim's hands raised, and Spock couldn't help but tilt his head slightly in curiosity as the big animal pressed it's muzzle into his palms. Jim cooed softly in his throat, his hands running gently over the animal's nose, his long-fingered hands firm and yet gentle. He leaned slightly, blowing into Light's nostrils and breathing deep of the animal's breath.

Spock blinked at this, not understanding the action, but he made no comment. Light nuzzled at Jim's cheek, at which the young man chuckled slightly, moving to take another step forward. Dak unhooked the chain as Jim took the step, his hands moving down the muscled neck and over the horse's back.

Spock watched idly, his dark eyes taking in the horse. It was a rather beautiful creature, with a coat the color of pale gold, cream mane and tail, and large brown eyes. The horse's shoulder was at about the same height as Jim's, and it had a refined head, a broad chest, and powerful-looking hindquarters. They were well matched; the horse's golden coat was nearly the same shade of Jim's hair, and the captain's bronze skin complemented the color of both.

A smile was in Jim's voice when he spoke next. "Quarter Horse. He's really got the typical shape of that breed."

Dak smiled. "Good call, Jim, I'm impressed. Light is full Quarter Horse, 7 years old. He's a good horse, and he'll be good for you, I can tell." The horse snorted faintly, throwing his head up slightly before butting his head against Jim's back, causing the young man to stumble forward to bounce off the golden side. "He likes you too."

Jim had the biggest smile on his face that Spock had ever seen, his hands running over the smooth coat, playing in the cream colored mane. His lips were moving slightly, but Spock couldn't hear if there were any words coming from his mouth.

"Alright, I think you'll be good with Light. I'll go ahead and show you to his locker; it's got all his brushes and whatnot, as well as his bridle. Which saddle do you prefer?"

Jim turned his head toward the man. "Actually I would prefer not to have one. If you need me to have one, though, western will do."

Dak smiled slightly. "That sounds good. His locker's right here across from his stall, I'll get it unlocked, and then I'll be in the office if you need me." He glanced to Spock. "I take it you saw the office on the way…?"

Spock inclined his head slightly, and watched silently as Dak opened the locker. Jim shifted away from Light, stepping towards Spock. To his great interest the horse clopped forward after the young man, at which point Jim simply raised a hand and the horse placed his nose in the curve of his palm. Jim pressed back slightly, and the horse stilled, staying where he was as Jim took another step.

"Spock?"

The Vulcan stepped forward at his captain's call. "I am here, Jim."

"You were so quiet back here, I was starting to wonder." Jim said with a smile. "Do you think you could help me out by getting me some stuff from the locker?"

Spock stepped forward in way of answer, bending slightly towards the locker. "What is it that you require?"

Jim took a step towards his voice, his eyes automatically scanning the area in front of him. "His brushes; I need to groom him before we go out, he'll like that."

Scanning the locker the Vulcan located a small basket that had an assortment of brushes and other devices in it, turning towards Jim and lifting his hand, wrapping it around the handle. "I believe this contains what you asked for."

Jim turned back to the horse, setting the bucket down after taking two steps and then feeling through it. He pulled up a stiff-bristled brush after a moment, a hand on Light's neck as he stepped beside the horse. Light made a soft sound as Jim started running the brush over his coat, pumping his head up and down slightly. Jim laughed and patted the muscular neck, murmuring softly again.

Spock could only watch quietly, interested to notice how relaxed and open Jim seemed. It occurred to him a few moments later that he had never seen Jim like this, not even in the 2 years that they had been serving together.

Perhaps this vacation would bring a new way to see his captain; his friend.

* * *

I have a soft spot for horses, I always have, and I've been riding for somewhere around the area of 13 years or so. I know that Jim was protrayed as an accomplished rider in the series, and so I pulled them into this story quite a bit, as they're good therapy animals, so it makes sense. I must admit, I drew some inspiration for this from the Native Sky series by theplanetmary (if you haven't read those, my GOD you MUST!) so I give a bow to that brilliant writer! Please review!


	3. My Senses Touch Your World

Yay another chapter! I choose to dedicate this one to theplanetmary, who contacted me last chapter and gave me warm fuzzies cause she said she liked it... I hope that you continue to like it!

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Chapter 3

My Senses Touch Your World

Spock observed quietly while Jim ran his hands over the horse's sleek neck. The animal was completely calm, watching the young man with large brown eyes as Jim finished buckling on what Spock knew to be a bridle.

"Well, Spock?" Jim's blind eyes turned towards him. "Thoughts?"

"I am afraid I still do not understand, Jim." Spock admitted after a moment. "I do not see the special significance of this animal."

Jim sighed faintly. "I think you're just going to have to believe me then. Horses are just… special." He patted Light's muzzle once before moving back out of the stall, one hand extended toward the horse. Light followed him without much prompting, ears pricked forward.

"You're going to have to help me up, and to the arena. Okay, Spock?" Jim said, hunting for a moment for the wall and then leaning his cane there.

"I am not sure that you are safe in this situation, Jim." Spock said, eyeing the horse as Jim went to it's right side.

Jim tilted his head, looking towards him. "What do you mean?"

Spock frowned minutely. "There are no… means for you to secure yourself to this animal. And to let you go on your own is not advisable."

The younger man blinked, thinking. "Oh, you mean a saddle? This bridle I have on him will be fine, I don't need a saddle. As for me being on my own, Light is with me and he knows where not to go."

Spock still didn't like it. "As you have never been on this horse, Jim, I find this all to be illogical…."

"Look, just trust me, okay?" Jim said firmly, waving a hand in the Vulcan's direction. "I just know." He grinned. "Besides, you'll be nearby, won't you?"

"Of course."

Jim's smile widened. "Then I feel perfectly safe." He gestured Spock forward. "Now come on, give me a leg up."

Spock didn't question the strange wording; he understood Jim's intent as he braced both hands on the horse's back and shakily lifted his right foot. Spock was quick to steady him with a hand around his raised leg.

He barely had a moment to think when Jim suddenly used him as a stepping stool, his right leg extending powerfully to propel him onto the horse. Light stood calmly, making no move to show that he even noticed.

"That was kinda different." Jim murmured as he settled himself. "Supposed to mount from the left, but that leg isn't strong enough, so…"

Spock couldn't help but be slightly surprised; Jim had answered his unspoken question perfectly. He didn't say anything though, simply watched as Jim situated himself on the animal's back.

He looked rather natural up there, Spock noticed. Jim was perfectly at ease, hands lightly holding the reins. Once again Spock realized that they were well-matched, both golden and bright.

"Alright, do you think you could lead Light to the arena?" Jim asked, his voice breaking into Spock's thoughts.

Spock hesitated before hooking a hand around the leather of the reins. "Of course, Jim."

Light followed quietly, and Spock led him to the gate of the dirt-filled enclosure. The horse came to a stop when Spock did, and Jim turned his head slightly.

"Spock?"

"We are within the 'arena'."

Jim smiled. "Thanks."

And then the horse was gone from the Vulcan's side.

* * *

The sight before him was truly incredible. The only way he could think to describe it was that Jim had somehow become a part of the horse. At first Jim had taken Light around the perimeter of the arena at a walk, obviously discovering the dimensions.

Now, however, he was taking the horse through several paces, un-erringly directing him around the enclosure. Jim moved and rocked with Light's pace, easily following him in a natural series of movements. Jim truly looked at home on the horse's back, a smile on his face.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

Spock blinked in surprise; he hadn't heard any sound of someone approaching, and yet Dak was leaning at his side, forearms braced against the wood of the arena wall. The Vulcan did not speak, but Dak continued regardless.

"He's a true horseman, that's for sure. He's got a connection to that horse that I haven't seen for a long time, something that is very rare. It's quite a sight."

Spock looked back to his captain, nodding slightly. "It is indeed amazing how he is able to do all this while blind."

Dak chuckled faintly. "That's not exactly what I meant, but I suppose that is pretty incredible."

Spock turned away from Dak, his dark eyes traveling back to Jim. It was at this moment that he started to see the signs of his fatigue. He could see the tremors in Jim's left leg, as well as the slightly pained look on his face under the sheen of sweat. Jim had been riding for nearly a half an hour, and with the maneuvers that he had been performing, Spock could clearly see the strain it was putting on his depleted musculature in his left leg.

The Vulcan stepped into the ring, and he was faintly surprised when Light trotted right up to him and came to a stop. Spock could see the confusion on Jim's face; he obviously hadn't told the horse to do this. "Jim, I believe that it is an appropriate time to cease riding, you are clearly becoming fatigued."

Jim turned his blind eyes to Spock, and there was a brief war on his face before he nodded. "You're right. My leg is really hurting anyway." With those words the blond started to swing himself off the horse, leaning forward to press his chest to the ridge of Light's neck and carefully bring his left leg up and over the horse's hindquarters.

Spock went to the horse's right side as soon as Jim started to slide down, ready to catch him should his legs give out. Jim stood mostly on his right leg, but he remained upright for the moment. It was short-lived though, as when he turned to take a step, his knees buckled, a soft sound of surprise coming from his lips.

There was no time for thought, only reaction. Spock suddenly found himself standing right next to the horse's warm side, a slightly cooler body pressed against his chest.

Jim was in complete shock. His legs were limp beneath him, useless for the moment, his arms trapped between his chest and Spock's. He could feel the strong, hot bands of Spock's arms looped around the small of his back, pressing their stomachs together where he could feel the thrum of Spock's heart. But above all, he could feel the radiating heat of what he knew was Spock's face, inches from his own. His blank blue eyes were wide, lips parted slightly as he breathed in the warmth of Spock's breath.

Spock stared down into Jim's eyes, and there was a tug somewhere in his abdomen. For some reason, he felt the urge to keep a hold of Jim, to not let go of the lithe, cool body in his grasp. He wanted to lean forward, to lock their lips, to kiss Jim until the human couldn't remember how to breathe. His initial reaction to these urges was to step away from Jim, to distance himself from the temptation that may lead to more, but some part of his mind reminded him that if he let go of Jim, he would most likely collapse.

"T-Thanks Spock." Jim managed to force out, his voice little more than a breathy whisper. He clenched his hands into fists where they were curled loosely just by Spock's collarbone, tensing his arms. "You um… you could probably let go now."

Spock gave himself a mental shake and carefully set Jim back on his feet, still wary of his shaky legs. Jim stumbled briefly before steadying himself and brushing at his clothes. Spock handed him the cane that Dak handed him a moment later, and Jim settled it in his hand and beneath himself. The Vulcan couldn't help but admire the pink hue across the bridge of Jim's nose and on his cheeks, though it quickly faded as Jim gained his composure once again.

Dak took a hold of Light's lead rope, pulling the calm horse with him through the arena. "I'll go ahead and take care of Light; you should head back to your cabin."

Jim protested faintly. "I should take care of him; he deserves it for being so friendly…"

"Jim, if you will forgive me, I believe that we should return, as Dak suggests. You are experiencing fatigue, and it would be best for your health if you were to rest." Spock cut in, his voice calm and even as he spoke.

The blond hesitated for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "Alright."

Dak smiled at the two of them. "I know that I'll be seeing you two before too long. You get some rest, alright Jim? And don't push yourself too hard."

Jim smiled in return. "I appreciate your help, Dak. I'll see you soon."

* * *

The walk back to their small house was long and slow. Spock moved with infinite patience, easily reining in his long stride for Jim, who was moving slower than normal. His face was still slightly pained, and although this excursion had hurt him, he couldn't bring himself to regret remaining astride Light as long as he had.

Spock felt concern bubble faintly in his heart as he watched Jim. He was gripping the cane so tightly his hand was shaking, knuckles white. He had a pronounced limp now, and he was leaning rather heavily on his cane.

Even so, Jim was still trying to keep their contact to a minimum. He figured Spock had just about had his limit of touch for the day, and so all his weight was on the cane, only a fraction through the fingers that were resting against Spock's arm.

So, with this thought in mind, Jim was shocked when Spock pulled him closer, their arms now linked at the elbow.

"You may lean on me, Jim. I can see that you are in pain."

Jim grinned a little shakily. "I've got the cane Spock, its okay. I know that you're not a big fan of touch."

Spock didn't move. "I can see the strain you are feeling in that arm, and I have more than enough strength to easily support you. There is no logical reason for you to cause yourself unnecessary pain." Jim still hesitated, and Spock continued quietly. "I am not adverse to touch if it is you, Jim."

Shocked blank, blue eyes flew to look at Spock, and an instant later Jim's cane caught on the uneven ground. With a soft sound of surprise, the blond stumbled forward, but instead of hitting the ground, he fell into insanely warm arms.

Again Jim found himself against Spock's wiry body, and he couldn't help the blush that flared across his cheeks. "Sorry." he managed to mumble, pushing himself upright once more. "I guess that's the second time you've saved my dignity today!"

Spock's voice held a hint of dryness when he spoke next. "I believe your dignity would have been a negligible loss. It was, however, possible that you would have damaged your ribs had you fallen, as they are still healing."

"Oh." Jim mumbled. "I hadn't thought of that."

Spock refitted their arms together, and they started forward again. Jim hesitated a moment before leaning on the Vulcan, feeling him easily shouldering the blond's weight.

Jim could still feel his heart pounding. _He… He doesn't mind my touch? He's never liked touch! He didn't even touch Uhura that much when they were together! Well, not in public anyway…_

The young man shoved it aside forcefully, putting it from his mind. _I'm looking into it too much, it's nothing really._

But even as he thought that, he felt Spock tighten the grip he had on his arm, his warmth reassuring. "I believe it would be wise to wait before returning to the stables."

Jim nodded, startled out of his thoughts by the baritone voice. He smiled shakily before speaking. "Yea, my leg is more messed up than I thought it was. I'm glad I got to ride though."

"I still do not understand your feelings for horses, but you did seem… very pleased." Spock mused out loud.

The Vulcan felt his heart warm as he recalled the wideness of Jim's smile, the way that his skin had seemed to glow with happiness when he had gotten onto the horse.

Jim breathed deep, letting out a content sigh. "There's nothing like being on the back of a horse. It brings back memories from when I was a kid; I used to go riding all the time whenever I had the chance. We had a couple of horses on our farm, and I had my own."

"You had your own horse?"

"Yea, but she's been dead for years. She was pretty old when Mom gave her to me; she was nearly 27 when she passed away." Jim said, a hint of sadness leaking into his voice.

Spock reached into his pocket for the key to the old fashioned home, unlocking the door before leading Jim inside. "I am sorry for your loss, Jim."

The blond smiled in Spock's direction before carefully moving through the house and to the couch and collapsing onto it. "It's alright Spock; I've been over it for years now. She was a good horse, but she was definitely ready for a long rest. She certainly deserved it."

"If I may ask, what was her name?" Spock wondered, genuinely curious as he settled on the couch beside Jim.

Jim closed his eyes, a soft smile on his face. "Dream Evermore."

* * *

Haha yay cliche moments... Please review guys, they brighten my day!


	4. I Offer My Love

Alright, next chapter! I'm so glad that you guys are still enjoying the story, and I hope that this chapter continues to please you, even though this is where things start to get a little... off-beat. Please review, and I hope you like it! I'm gonna throw a warning for OOC action in this chapter as well.

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Chapter 4

I Offer My Love

Spock was awoken early in the morning by both an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, as well as faint sounds from Jim's room. It was still dark outside, though Spock knew it was past dawn. A quick glance revealed the skies to be covered by dark clouds that heralded rain that wasn't yet falling, but no doubt would be soon. Frowning, the Vulcan pushed himself out of the bed, moving silently out of his bedroom and towards the room just across from his own. He knocked softly on the door, calling out.

"Jim? Is there a problem?"

A soft groan was his answer, and, confused, Spock pushed open the door.

He immediately spotted Jim curled up on the bed beneath the covers, laying in a ball in the center of the mattress. Spock took a step forward. "Jim?"

There was a scuffle and then Jim shifted, turning to look in Spock's direction. "S-Spock! I'm sorry d-did I… ah… wake you?"

"I had what you would describe as 'a bad feeling' and I heard sounds of distress from your room, so I came to investigate." Spock replied, taking another step forward.

Jim grinned, but it was small and weak. "Everything's f-fine…"

"You are in pain."

Spock cut off Jim without too much thought, and the blond looked towards his face with blinded eyes. "Spock…"

The Vulcan crossed the distance to the bed in only a moment, sitting down beside Jim and putting out a slow hand and hesitating only a moment before laying it on the shivering muscle of Jim's left thigh. Jim flinched in surprise, his eyes flickering briefly towards Spock's hand before traveling upwards again in the direction of his face.

His shock could only increase as he felt Spock's other hand rest against his leg, and then the Vulcan spoke softly. "Heat will help ease the ache."

Jim could feel the burning heat of Spock's touch through the thin fabric of his pajama pants, and it was helping, but he could only seem to focus on the fact that Spock was touching him. Sure, the Vulcan had been doing so for a while, helping Jim around whenever they went somewhere, but this was different. Every time that Spock had touched him so far, it had been out of necessity. While Spock was right, and his body temperature was high enough to provide the heat that Jim needed, there were other ways to provide this comfort.

The touch was not necessary, but Spock was still there, his large hands warm and easy against his thigh. His touch was light, but firm, fingers working slightly to stimulate the muscle as well as work in the heat. Jim groaned softly as pain radiated from the muscle, ducking his head against his chest and gritting his teeth.

"Forgive me, Jim, but it will help the ache to fade." Spock's voice was gentle and calm, and Jim could hear the hint of concern buried in those tones.

As the pain started to seep from his muscles he let out a sigh, relaxing into the mattress and allowing the tension to drain out of his back and shoulders. His leg grew still as the tremors finally ceased, and the originally rather painful touch turned into a heated and relaxing massage. Jim breathed easy, closing his sightless eyes. "Thanks Spock. I owe you for that one."

Spock's fingers didn't slow their easy patterns. "You owe me nothing, Jim; it was the best course of action to ease your pain. Doctor McCoy warned me that you may experience these aches, and suggested heat and massage to help them."

Jim hesitated. "I don't suppose he told you to actually do the massaging yourself."

"No." Still Spock's fingers worked, now pleasantly stimulating the depleted muscle. "He suggested that you could apply the pressure yourself, or that we could perhaps utilize a personal massager which can be obtained through this facility."

Swallowing, the blond opened his eyes, involuntarily searching in Spock's direction before the glazed blue went still. "You don't have to do that, Spock. Touching can't be easy for you."

Jim was surprised to hear the faint hint of a smile in Spock's voice when he spoke next. "I wish to, Jim. I believe I told you once before, I am not adverse to your touch."

Again, as earlier that day, Jim felt a blush flare across his features before he managed to push it down. "R-Right…"

The blond had no more words with which to fight the touch, and so he went silent, closing his blind eyes and relaxing marginally against the bed. Spock's touch was comforting, and Jim felt his heartbeat began to slow again from the frantic startled beat it had been.

Spock was quiet as well, his eyes scanning the slender body lying just before him. He was telling the truth when he told Jim that he didn't mind his touch; in fact he was starting to look for reasons to initiate it. Jim's touch sent electricity through his body, a feeling that he had never had with Uhura. The communications officer had opened up a lot of doors for him, but she had not been what his mind had needed; they weren't compatible in that area, and so they had terminated their relationship mutually only three months after it had begun.

But Jim…

Jim's mind was bright, warm and welcoming, and a perfect match to Spock's. He had melded with the young captain before in the line of duty, five times in the two years that they had been together aboard the _Enterprise_. Each time he had had no time to really look into the interesting area that Jim's mind offered, but the ease of the melds and the sense of belonging he felt there was unmistakable. He knew that there was already a fledgling bond between them, he could sometimes sense Jim's emotions without touching him, and their touch sent arousal through his body.

Because of that, he had been careful to avoid touching Jim's skin with his hands, as that may be the action to tip him over the edge. What Jim surely thought was discomfort was instead Spock restraining himself. Even now, staring down at Jim lying complaint beneath his touch, he felt the overwhelming urge to cover the human's body with his own, to mark him; claim him as his own. The rush of possessiveness was welcome and warming, and Spock reveled in the feeling.

Although he was unsure about where this would go, he was no longer unsure of what he wanted and needed. He had wondered many times in the past year or so since he had uncovered his desire for the young captain, but he knew now without doubt.

Even so, he retained his control for Jim's sake. He wanted nothing more than to enter into a relationship with the young captain, but he knew that Jim wasn't ready for it.

"May I make a personal inquiry, Jim?" Spock started, a little hesitant sounding to Jim's now sensitive ears.

Jim turned his head in the Vulcan's direction, tilting his golden head slightly. "Of course, Spock. Anything."

Spock waited only a beat before starting to speak. "Over the course of the few days that we have spent here, I have entertained the thought about why you did not simply go to your home in Iowa. Surely there would have been ways there with which to recover; this facility does not seem necessary."

Jim shifted slightly beneath Spock's hands, which had gone still but remained pressed fully against Jim's leg. "I was kinda wondering when you would ask that, especially after I told you that we had a few horses up there. We didn't go there because of my mom."

"Your mother?"

Jim nodded. "My mom and I… we never have had the best of relationships. She's my mom, and I still love her, but I don't…" The blond stopped, struggling to find the right words. "We just don't get along."

Spock frowned slightly, something that, even though Jim didn't see it, he could hear it in the Vulcan's voice. "I do not understand. You have often spoken of your mother with respect; I recall you mentioning that she taught you how to cook."

Again Jim nodded slightly. "She did, but that was when I was young. When I was little, my mom and I were really close. That was before she met Frank, and even a little while after, when she was still around a lot. But the older I got, the less she saw _me_. It got the point where she couldn't really take it anymore, so…" he shrugged. "…she left."

"…I am afraid that I am confused."

Jim sighed faintly, silent for a moment before speaking. "I look a lot like my father, you know that, right?"

"George Kirk; I recall. I have seen his image before. You do bear a striking resemblance to him."

A slight, almost bitter smile came onto Jim's features and he turned his head away from Spock, almost pressing his face into the sheets of the bed. "And that's the problem. The older I got, the more I looked like him. I guess when I was little she could think of me as _me_, but that didn't last. She wasn't the only one; everyone saw him instead of me. I was nobody, just 'the son of the hero, George Kirk.' I was invisible, and for a while I stayed that way. But I got tired of it pretty quick; living in my father's shadow."

Spock waited a moment before asking. "Is that why you tended to get involved in fights?"

Jim nodded after considering, shifting slightly to turn his blind eyes towards Spock. "Yea, that's really the best explanation. I wasn't invisible in those moments; whoever I was fighting, they saw me, even if they didn't necessarily want to."

Quiet fell between them, a tense feeling of bitterness and a strange sort of loss lingering around Jim's slender body. Spock watched him quietly, reading the pain that was etched into the line of his shoulders and down the stiff set of his back, even while he was lying down. His hands returned to their massage slowly, one hand trailing up over Jim's hip to run over his back.

Jim let out a sound of surprise, pressing himself up into a sitting position and leaning back on one hand, his blind eyes scanning the area that he knew Spock was in, even though he couldn't see the Vulcan. "Spock?"

"_I_ see you."

Jim's blank eyes widened slightly, his body automatically shrinking backwards as Spock came forward; locking their lips.

The world faded out of existence. All that Jim was aware of was the feel of soft, insanely warm lips against his own, slim hands that curled around the back of his neck and in his hair, cradling his face. Warmth exploded in his chest, his heart pounded, and in that moment Jim realized that he wasn't just attracted to Spock physically.

_I'm in love with Spock…_

They parted slowly, the kiss lingering as Spock pressed their foreheads together.

"I see you, my t'hy'la…" the Vulcan murmured. "You are not invisible, not to me."

"S-Spock…" Jim forced out. He was still for a moment, and then wriggled backwards. Spock could see the confusion on Jim's face, and the feelings pouring through their touch changed to something that Spock hadn't expected at all. The young captain raised his hands, pressing at Spock's chest, shaking his head.

"Jim?" Spock asked, confused. "I should not have done that. I will refrain in the future."

Jim scrambled backwards at those words, nearly falling from the bed before he managed to catch himself. He stared at Spock with blank, confused, and scared eyes, and then forced himself to his feet and did the one thing that Spock had never thought that he would see James Kirk do.

He ran.


	5. My Light In Darkness

Okay, another chapter! I really hope that you guys like this, it's getting a little... out of hand, you could say. Please review!

* * *

Chapter 5

My Light in Darkness

Jim didn't know where he was going, but all he knew was that he had to keep going. His heart was beating so fast he thought it was going to fly out of his chest. His leg was screaming beneath him, and he fell heavily on his side.

He forced himself up again, driving himself forward to a destination that he didn't really know why he had to get to. His heart clenched inside him again, and he closed his blind eyes tightly, his mind racing.

_I love Spock… I can't love Spock! I just can't! He's Vulcan, he's… I don't fall in love! I'm James T. Kirk! _

Some part of his mind knew that the excuses he was spewing out were ridiculous, but all logic seemed to have fled in the wave of unknown and unwelcome emotion that had poured over him with no warning.

_He'll leave me! He's a Vulcan, he can't love me! He'll leave; abandon me just like everyone else! I don't get attached because it only ends in pain! Everyone leaves me in the end! Sam left me, Mom left me….!_

"What the… Jim?"

Dak's voice startled Jim and he let out a shout of surprise, nearly falling again before managing to catch himself on a wall he hadn't known was there. He turned his face towards the direction his voice had come from.

"Dak…" Jim gasped out. "Light… I need to ride. Get away…"

Dak seemed reluctant. Jim flinched as he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. "Come on Jim, let's get you inside and call Commander Sp—"

"No!" Jim interrupted, pressing himself away from Dak. "I just need… I just need to ride for a while, Dak. No Spock, no… no anyone. Just me and Light."

Again the man seemed reluctant. "Alright. I'll be nearby if you need me. I'll take you to Light, and get him in a bridle."

"Thank you." Jim managed, allowing Dak to heft him to his feet and lead him into the stables. How he had ended up here he wasn't sure, but he knew that he needed the calming ride, that Light would help him calm down and figure out the maelstrom of emotion, confusion, and loneliness warring in his body.

Dak seemed to understand the way that Jim was feeling, and so he remained silent and moved quickly to bridle Light and brush him quickly down. "Here Jim, I'll help you up."

Jim accepted the help, swinging up and onto Light's back and gathering the reins in his hands before clucking his tongue and pressing his heels to Light's sides. The horse reacted instantly, shooting forward and out of the stable.

"Jim! Jim, that's not a good idea! JIM!"

Blocking the man from his mind, Jim pressed Light out into the now pouring rain, letting the horse have his head as they ran through the dark morning.

_Get away… I just need to get away…_

* * *

Spock had no thought for a long time on what had just happened. For nearly an hour he simply sat in Jim's room, eyes closed in thought as he tried to calm the emotions that he had allowed to break free in those moments with his beautiful captain.

A buzzing noise startled him from his thoughts and he turned his attention to the comm station on the desk in the corner of the room. Rising to his feet Spock moved swiftly to the desk, pressing the button to accept the call.

To his surprise it was Dak who was on the other end, soaking wet and ruffled looking. "Commander! You've got to get out here now; we need all the help we can get at this point!"

Spock frowned minutely. "What is it that you require my assistance with?"

"Jim! It's Jim, he came running in here and said he wanted to ride, so I got him up on Light, and then he just took off!"

Panic flared in Spock's stomach before he could press it down, and he nodded sharply. "I will be there momentarily. How are we planning to travel?"

Dak frowned. "You'll have to ride, Commander, I'm sorry we can't give you more instruction, but horses are the only way to get around out here, there are places that he could be that vehicles won't go."

Spock nodded again. "I will make do, Mr. Kidd. Spock out."

The Vulcan pushed himself to his feet, stopping only briefly to pull on a jacket before heading out the door, breaking into a gentle run as he did. His mind was racing, thinking over where Jim would possibly go, but what made it all worse was that Jim couldn't see; he had most likely given the horse his head and let him go where he wished. This made the possibilities quite infinite, and Spock had no idea where Jim could be.

He arrived at the stables to see that Dak had gotten together a group of about 20 different people; as Spock came into the group he heard his name called and turned to see Kimimela, her face worried as she came towards him. She was leading two horses behind her, a smaller reddish brown mare and a large black gelding.

"Commander, this is the horse that we've picked out for you, Rolling Thunderstorm. We call him Thunder mostly; he's a good calm horse, he'll be excellent for you, especially with this situation. I'm sorry we couldn't teach you, but he's pretty bomb-proof…"

Spock shook his head, waving a slender hand. "Now is not the time for that, I have studied it sufficiently to know what to do. We must begin our attempts to locate Jim; this rain is likely to make him ill in the condition he is currently in."

Kimimela nodded, and then released the reins to him. "Here's a communicator." she said sharply before going to the left side of her mare and mounting up. Spock watched silently, and then copied her movements exactly to mount Thunder. The horse stood calmly as he situated himself and got familiar with the animal, responding to the light commands that Spock issued with his heels.

Dak was suddenly up front, astride a big gray with one hand in the air. "Alright everyone, we've got to find James Kirk! He left here about 20 minutes ago on Light! All I know as of right now is that he headed out that way, and he gave Light his head! I don't know if any of you remember this, but Kirk is blind, he's most likely lost and in danger, we need to hurry. Keep in contact, and be careful! This is a bad rain, there's most likely danger of mud slides." He waved an arm. "Alright, move out!"

Spock sat silently for a moment, watching everyone else head out in different directions, but still in the general way that Jim had gone. The Vulcan thought for a few moments, his mind going over where a horse might have gone in this situation, and then tapped his heels to Thunder's sides, sending the horse forward and into the rain.

His eyes were flitting frantically around him as he rode through the darkness of the morning, trying to locate any sign of the horse or Jim. He found nothing for a long time, and then he spotted tracks in the mud, a horse's hurried hoof prints sliding over the ground. Spock looked up and around, trying to spot the horse that he hoped was close, but saw no sign of Light through the trees. Thunder snorted as he navigated the slippery, inclined mud, lifting his forelegs high as he went up the slope.

The black horse leapt forward, and then suddenly pricked his ears forward, lifting his head and letting out a whinny. Spock frowned, and then blinked in surprise when he heard the answering call through the trees.

Tapping Thunder's sides again, Spock pressed him forward. Thunder did so easily, rounding the stand of trees to find Light standing near the edge of a cliff, mud-splattered and looking a little dejected. Spock pulled Thunder to a stop and awkwardly slid off the horse's back, nearly falling in the thick mud.

"Jim!" he called, his eyes scanning the area around him. "Jim, where are you!.?"

There was no answer to his calls, and Spock ventured carefully closer to the edge of the steep hill near him, his eyes suddenly widening as he saw the slipped prints in the mud, what looked like grasping fingers digging into the ground. He pressed closer, careful to attach himself to the top of the hill by wrapping one hand around a large branch and leaning out over the edge.

There was a crumpled form lying still at the base of the slope.

"JIM!" Spock could no longer hold back the panic that flared in his belly, easing himself down the hill to Jim's side. He reached for Jim, but stopped, his eyes scanning the still form beside him. Jim's left arm was twisted beneath him, his left leg snapped just above the knee. The most terrible thing was that his head seemed to be twisted the wrong way; Spock couldn't see his face, nor could he tell if Jim was even breathing with the position he was in, his face seemingly pressed against the muddy ground.

Spock snapped open the communicator. "I have found him, send a medical transport immediately. I cannot move him in this condition; he needs to be beamed directly to medical assistance."

_"Got it, Commander. Sending a transport to your communicator location immediately."_

Dak's voice only barely pierced Spock's carefully held calm, and the Vulcan returned to examining Jim, putting out a hand to press a few fingers against the bare skin of Jim's throat. There was a pulse beneath his fingers, fluttery and weak, but a pulse nonetheless.

"Jim…" Spock murmured softly, his fingers ghosting across the pale, far-too-cold skin. "Jim, I am here. I am so sorry for what I have done. Why did you run from me, t'hy'la…?"  
"S-Sorry…"

Only Spock's mighty Vulcan control restrained the flinch that threatened to take him, and with surprise he looked down to see blank blue eyes flutter open as Jim turned his head just enough so he could see the blond's face. Jim smiled shakily; his lips were blue.

"S-So sorry…" he whispered. Spock watched as his right fingers twitched slightly, arm trembling as he tried to lift it, and the Vulcan couldn't help but reach down, gently taking Jim's hand in his own, careful not to move him any more than necessary.

"Jim… Jim, it is me that should apologize. I do not know what I said to make you so frightened. Why did you run from me?"

Jim swallowed before speaking haltingly. "Scared… Vulcans… d-don't love humans… a-abandon me…" He paused, breathing heavily, his lungs hitching as he tried to catch the air that he had lost. "Didn't mean to… g-get lost… stupid…"

Spock brushed at the golden, mud-soaked hair. "It is alright, Jim. Help is on the way. I will not leave you." He lowered his head, brushing his lips gently across Jim's pale knuckles. "Not now, not ever. I will always be by your side, my t'hy'la."

Dull blue eyes flickered towards his face, scanning slightly for something they could not see. "T'hy'la….?"

A tiny smile flickered at Spock's lips. "Friend." He pressed another kiss to Jim's skin. "Brother." Another. "Lover." He felt Jim's fingers move softly against his cheek, and he reached to glide their first two fingers together in a Vulcan kiss. "One who is the other half of my self."

Another smile on Jim's blue lips. "You… l-love me?"

"With all that I am, Jim."

Those sightless, still beautiful blue eyes slid closed, and Jim's hand began to relax. "Good to k-know…"

Spock frowned. "Jim. Jim, stay awake. You must remain conscious; you may have a concussion, internal injuries."

There was no response.

"Jim. Jim!" Spock shook the limp hand in his grasp. "Wake up, t'hy'la! Wake up!"

* * *

I just love to leave you guys with cliffhangers, don't I?


	6. Your Love Shines the Way

Okay, here's the follow up I know you're all waiting for. I hope that you guys continue to enjoy! There's what I would term as lime in this chapter, although it might get a little further than that.

:)

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Chapter 6

Your Love Shines the Way

The room was silent except for the steady, soft beeping of the monitors above Jim's bed and the young captain's soft breathing. Jim had been lucky, the doctors said. He had nearly bled out on the hillside from the deep gash scored along his back from falling through the trees and bushes, as well as the internal bleeding, but they had gotten to him in time. His left leg had broken cleanly and had been fairly easy to remedy because of it, and they had managed to add some more muscle tissue and speed up the repair now that it had been some time since the original work done by McCoy. Jim's work had been cut in half. Thankfully his arm had merely been dislocated, though bandages were wrapped around the gash along his forearm.

Spock sat quietly at his side, floating on the verge of meditation while he waited for his captain to wake up. He was concerned for Jim, for the words that he had heard from him on that muddy hill, and to the reason that he had given for his initial fear. The Vulcan continued to sit quietly for a moment, and then he raised a hand hesitantly, running his first two fingers gently across the back of Jim's hand.

He could sense quiet, sleepy thoughts from Jim, nothing specific or substantial that he could make out. Spock was slightly pleased that he could no longer sense fear from Jim, as he had when he had found him lying beneath the rainy skies.

_Perhaps I made a mistake in my actions… I clearly frightened him at first, though that was not my intention. But his words on the hillside… _

Spock stroked Jim's soft skin gently, closing his eyes as he thought. _He thought that I would abandon him… _Surprise flitted through the Vulcan he suddenly realized. _"I will refrain in the future." That is what I said. _

Now he could understand why Jim had thought what he had, especially after his history of relationships and what Spock knew of them. Jim floated from person to person, never staying attached, and now Spock understood why.

He was afraid of abandonment.

Jim was afraid of people leaving him, of being alone, so he left them before he could experience that pain. Spock frowned faintly, opening his eyes to scan Jim's painfully beautiful features. He didn't understand why Jim would feel this way, but he resolved to make sure that he didn't have cause to think that way anymore.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft sound from Jim's lips, and Spock moved his eyes up to look into Jim's eyes as they fluttered open. "Jim…"

The young blond blinked dazedly, and then his face moved towards Spock's voice, though his eyes floated back and forth in the general area. "Spock?"

"How are you feeling, Jim?" Spock asked, drawing his hand away so as not to startle him. "Are you in any pain?"

Jim shook his head slightly. "No. Just… a little tired, and sore. Where… are we? What happened?"

Spock straightened his back slightly. "Do you remember being on the hillside?"

Hesitation, and then Jim nodded in response. "I remember you coming for me. That you… that you love me. I just…"

"That was the truth, Jim." Spock supplied when Jim faded off and didn't continue. "It has taken me some time to uncover the truth behind what I was feeling and thinking for you, but I have discovered the answers." The Vulcan reached out, and carefully allowed his fingers to touch Jim's hand. The blond flinched slightly as it was unexpected, but relaxed a moment later before slowly turning his hand over so Spock's fingers rested lightly against the palm of his hand.

"I… don't know what to think, Spock." Jim said softly, his fingers curling slightly towards Spock's hand as the Vulcan allowed his fingers to trace the lines of Jim's palm. "I'm… not scared, but… I don't know why I keep thinking this way, it's completely stupid. But I…" His hand shifted tentatively, his fingers touching Spock's before the Vulcan allowed their fingers to intertwine. "I've never felt like this before. Not for anyone."

Spock couldn't help but smile almost imperceptivity. "I do not understand emotion well, but as my knowledge dictates, I believe that it is called 'love.'" He allowed the feeling that he repressed in his own mind to move through their touch. Jim blinked in surprise, his eyes darting briefly down towards their hands before back up in the area of Spock's face.

Jim was quiet for a while, and then spoke softly, his voice shaky. "You know… back on the hillside, when I thought for sure that I was gonna die… Just hearing someone say those words… hearing _you_ say those words… I was okay with it. I would die happy." Spock could feel Jim's hands shaking, and he squeezed the man's hand gently, warmly. "I never thought that hearing that would make me feel… well, make me feel so…" Jim frowned, thinking.

"Complete." Spock said firmly. "I will, however, be content to wait for you if you are confused, Jim. I… made a mistake in moving so quickly. I momentarily lost control this morning."

A soft chuckle left Jim's throat. "You should lose control more often." His eyes fluttered closed softly, and his hand began to relax as he started to slip into sleep. "I think I like it when you do that…"

Spock leaned forward slightly, lifting Jim's hand to his mouth to press a warm kiss to those slender fingers. "I love thee, James Tiberius Kirk…" he whispered, the high Vulcan flowing from him as his lips rested against Jim's knuckles. "I will be here with thee, as long as it is thy wish."

Jim drifted into sleep with a smile on his lips.

* * *

That night found them back in the cabin, released there by the doctors who said that Jim would be fine as long as he rested before placing any more strain on his body. Jim protested the coddling, but a firm touch from Spock on his shoulder made him go silent and he allowed them to usher him off without many words.

Spock sat quietly at the kitchen table, watching as Jim finished eating his dinner. The blond hadn't said much to him since their last conversation in the hospital, but Spock knew that things had settled between them. Jim's presence had solidified in his mind, and through that faint connection he could sense no distress from his captain, and so he was content to wait for Jim to make the first move.

Jim set down his fork slowly, and then smiled slightly, turning his head towards Spock. "Are we just going to sit and be quiet around each other now? I figured that this would at least make conversation a little easier."

A faint tinge of amusement flitted across Spock's thoughts. "There is no difficulty in conversation, Jim. I am merely allowing you the first move."

The man tilted his head slightly, his smile relaxing into a softer one. "Spock… I promise I'm alright now. I don't think there's any way that I could dispute what you've told me, not after…" He faded off, shaking his head slightly. "You don't have to treat me as though I'm made of glass. I won't break."

Spock reached out, rising from his seat and moving to Jim's side. The blond easily heard the movements now, turning in his chair to face Spock as the Vulcan came close. They didn't touch, Spock's hands hovering centimeters above his skin before the pads of his fingers brushed gently along the lines of Jim's throat, stroking his collarbone. "But you are cracked, my t'hy'la. You have not broken because you are strong, but that does not make you any less fragile. I will be gentle with you, because it is what you require, even if you do not wish to admit it."

Jim frowned, but he said nothing in response to those words. As much as he didn't enjoy hearing it, he knew Spock was right.

A gentle buzz passed through their touch, and Jim shivered slightly beneath his fingers. Spock smiled only just, pressing his hands to Jim's warm, bronzed skin. "I will wait as long as you require. I will be here."

"Spock…" Jim murmured, raising his hand to brush his fingers across the back of Spock's hand. The Vulcan delighted at the thrill that passed through him as their fingers connected, and Jim shuddered again, his blind eyes fluttering closed as the fledgling bond between them sang at their touch. Spock watched with interest as Jim's mouth opened shakily, words slipping from his full lips. "No one has ever made me feel this way…" he whispered. "And we're not even really touching yet…"

"That is the bond between us, Jim." Spock replied, his fingers stroking along the back of Jim's hand, passing over his knuckles and to the pads of his fingers before caressing his palm. "We are only just connected, but already this much sensation glides through…" The Vulcan closed his own eyes, leaning forward.

Jim let out a gasp as Spock allowed the link to strengthen, his mind brushing Jim's in a mental caress. His blank eyes flew open, staring at the ceiling as his head fell back and Spock's nose brushed his pulse point. Spock intertwined their fingers, his other hand rising to carefully glide over Jim's golden hair, resting at the back of his neck and pressing him forward.

Spock breathed deep of Jim's scent, barely restraining the shudder of pleasure that curled in his body at the proximity of his t'hy'la. _Restraint…_ he thought to himself, moving back and releasing the hold that he had on Jim, both mental and physical.

Like a puppet whose strings had been cut, Jim's body went limp, draping in the chair as he breathed like he had just finished sprinting. He panted for a moment, and then slowly pushed himself upright, his face set in an expression that Spock easily recognized as the one he wore when he'd decided to do something, and no one could change his mind.

"To hell with it." Jim spat, and then his hands flew out, accurately grasping Spock's face and dragging the Vulcan forward.

Their lips met fiercely, the action more a mashing of mouths than an actual kiss. Jim's mouth opened savagely and he invaded Spock's mouth with a strong and seeking tongue, his hands rough on the Vulcan's cheeks. Spock returned the touch with just as much vigor, though he sought to be gentler against Jim, not nearly as violent.

They drew back roughly, and Jim pressed their foreheads together. His breathing was fast and jagged, and Spock could feel the rapid, pounding beat of his heart in his wrists. "How's that for a first move?" Jim panted out, triumphant grin on his features.

Spock said nothing, merely captured those beautiful, swollen lips again, unable to resist the urge that Jim's body gave to him. His arms wrapped around Jim's slender form, one winding around his waist to drag him off the chair, the other under his arm to press a hand to the nape of his neck. Jim let out a moan as their bodies collided, his own arms winding around Spock's shoulders as the Vulcan hitched him up into his arms.

Jim struggled to bring his legs up to encircle Spock's waist, and in response the Vulcan reached down with a powerful hand, easily hoisting Jim against his body and holding him there with little effort. Their lips never detached even as Jim was placed in a higher position, and the blond took the chance to use the height and take dominance in the kiss.

A growl echoed in Spock's chest and he wrapped a hand in Jim's golden hair, wrenching his head to the side and returning the fight with equal vigor. Jim let out a moan and Spock felt a surge of possessive love course through him, and he turned, walking swiftly through the house and to his room.

Jim was lithe and tense beneath him, arching up into his touch as he laid them down on the bed. The blond dragged his hands down Spock's back, pushing his head back into the mattress as his mouth fell open in a soft, soundless gasp of pleasure. Spock trailed kisses down the slender throat that was revealed to him, each touch loving and gentle. His lips lingered against Jim's pulse, reveling in the feel of his t'hy'la's heart beating

As he leaned back Spock saw that Jim was panting rather heavily, and while the flush on his face was beautiful and sent pleasure through him, he could see the pain etched in Jim's features. Sighing inwardly, the Vulcan leaned backwards before rolling onto his side next to Jim, running his fingers gently across Jim's sweat-damp skin.

After a moment Jim turned his head, reaching out with tentative fingers. "Spock? Why did you stop?"

"You are in pain, t'hy'la, and still weak. This is not a wise course of action at this moment in time." Spock murmured, allowing his fingers to twine with Jim's as the blond sought out his hand. "Forgive me; I should have been more aware of your physical condition before allowing the situation to escalate."

Jim sighed after a moment, rolling towards him and nuzzling his nose against Spock's warm throat. "Don't apologize. I started it, I suppose… I want to keep goi—" He broke himself off with a wide yawn, closing his eyes and snuggling closer to Spock's side. "Maybe later…"

Spock let out a soft huff, a sound that Jim had come to associate with a Spock version of a laugh. His arm wound around Jim's waist, holding the man close to his body before slowly laying his cheek against Jim's golden head. He bathed in the feeling of Jim so close to him, something that he knew now he had been craving. Jim's touch was like a balm to his mind, and their minds were in tune to the point where Spock was surprised that he hadn't noticed it before. He and Jim were truly t'hy'la.

"Spock?"

Jim's voice was soft and questioning, but a little hesitant. Spock opened his eyes, turning his head slightly. "What is it, Jim?"

Again a moment of hesitance, and then Jim spoke just as softly. "You… you really won't leave me, will you?"

Spock couldn't help but sigh faintly. "I have already assured you, Jim, I will remain with you. Are you aware of the bonding ritual of Vulcans?"

Jim shook his head slightly. "No. Never really had any cause to think about it."

"It might interest you to know, then, that when Vulcans bond, they bond for life. Once you and I are bonded, it is forever, if that is a step that you wish to take." Spock said quietly, his fingers gliding smoothly over Jim's temple. "You and I are t'hy'la, that is not something to be taken lightly. I will not leave you unless you wish it of me."

A slight nod against his neck. "'Other half of my self' you said…" Jim murmured. "A soulmate?"

Spock nodded, his lips soft against Jim's forehead. "You need never fear my abandoning you, for you are all that I will ever need."

"Mmm…" Jim murmured softly. His thoughts were hazy and sleep-covered; completely at ease. He knew that Spock was telling the truth; he didn't know how he knew that, he just did. And he trusted it with all his heart.

Spock continued to gently stroke Jim's skin, gentle and loving. He could sense Jim's mind growing quiet; he was nearly asleep already. "…night…. Spock…"

It was the next step in the right direction; to seeing things anew.


	7. I See Me Through Your Eyes

This chapter was in "Essence" so it might be familiar, but some of it is a slightly changed as compared to the one that I posted in that story. Regardless, I hope that now that you guys have read this story, that you will appriciate the way that the chapter blends into that plot.

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Chapter 7

I See Me Through Your Eyes

Spock awoke to light streaming through the windows. This was unusual; Spock usually awoke near the dawn. He felt more rested than he had in a long time, his mind clear and calm as though he had just gone through his morning ritual of meditation. There was a cool body resting beside him, and Spock opened his eyes to see Jim's peaceful face resting on the pillow next to him.

The Vulcan raised a hand, the backs of his fingers ghosting over Jim's soft cheek. The blond breathed in deeply, shifting towards Spock before going still again, laying on his stomach with his arms beneath the pillow. Spock couldn't help the smile that twitched at his lips as this happened, and he laid one arm across the small of Jim's back, his fingers coming to rest on the man's clothed hip.

Something that Spock found interesting about these new moments with Jim was the change in the man that he had thought he knew. Jim was, around his crew and other people, nothing but the confident, strong captain that everyone knew him to be. But in these moments of quiet between the two of them, when Jim was presented with someone who truly cared for him, someone who wanted to be with him forever, it was as though that persona went away.

Jim was confident in one thing, it seemed; and that was his charm and wit. He knew that he could charm anyone, gain the attention of someone if he wished, and then use the intelligence he was confident in to work his way through the situation. He lived for sex, and the thrill of it, but when someone actually wanted to keep going, he got scared.

It was all rather confusing to Spock; it was as though Jim didn't know he was handsome. He said it all the time, that his looks were exceptional, or that people 'only wanted him for his looks,' but now that Spock really considered, he had never really seemed to believe it. Even if he did know that he was handsome, he didn't really believe it, in some corner of his mind.

Most of Spock's thoughts were mere conjecture, but he had sensed Jim's low self-esteem before during melds, and when they had touched minds over the last day. Jim knew he had the brains, but the looks… that was something entirely different.

As though Jim could sense what Spock was thinking, his eyes fluttered open and moved briefly around the room before settling forward in a sort of standard position that Spock had seen them adapting lately. He shifted beneath Spock's arm, and then pulled one arm from beneath the pillow, hesitating before reaching out towards Spock. The Vulcan didn't move, allowing Jim to reach towards him.

Interestingly enough, Jim stopped before he got close enough to touch his bedmate. He drew back, and Spock watched the emotions play across his face; confusion, distress, and what looked like pain. Spock wanted to know why he was feeling this, but he refrained from moving his fingers beneath the shirt that Jim was wearing, still avoiding skin to skin contact in an effort to protect Jim's privacy. Even so, he did not want to see those things on Jim's beautiful features, and so he moved slightly, alerting Jim that he was awake.

Jim blinked, lifting his head slightly before speaking softly. "Spock?"

"I am awake, Jim."

The blond smiled slightly, and all the emotions vanished behind the mask that Spock recognized quite readily. "Good morning."

Spock didn't respond for a moment, and then decided that it was best to simply ask about what he had seen; he wasn't going to find out if he didn't question. "If I may ask…" he paused slightly, thinking over the wording of his question. "Why is it that you have so little confidence in yourself?"  
Jim blinked in confusion. "What? What makes you think that, Spock? When have I ever given any indication…"

He was cut off as Spock's fingers tensed against his hip. "I was not speaking of your command ability, Jim, if that is what you were assuming. I am referring to your estimation of your physical appearance. I have observed your reaction when I tell you what I think of your looks, or how you cause me to feel, and you do not seem to believe me."

A brief flash of confusion and what looked like fear shot across Jim's features and his entire being seemed to shrink backwards away from Spock. The Vulcan reached forward; pausing before touching Jim's skin before placing his hand on Jim's clothed shoulder, keeping the cloth between their skin. He didn't want to intrude before Jim invited him.

"Jim, please, tell me what you are feeling, as well as why you feel that way. I do not understand what would cause you to think these things. You are nothing less than beautiful." Spock said softly, his fingers stroking across Jim's shoulder.

Some sort of barrier appeared to fall apart in front of him, and for the first time, Spock could see what Jim really thought about himself written all over his face. It was painful to see it across those handsome features, a strange sort of quiet denial of what Spock said, an acceptance of that false truth.

"I'm not beautiful." Jim murmured, his voice soft, full of a quiet sort of disbelief that confused Spock.

Something in Spock wrenched, and he allowed his fingers to stroke across Jim's shoulder. "I do not understand. Why do you believe this?"

Jim looked away, shrugging. "I'm just not. I know people tell me that, and I know that I say it sometimes, but I know it's not true. People just… They try to get me to believe it. Sex is easy to come by, but I've never really been in an actual relationship. I guess no one wants me; no one ever has."

"Oh t'hy'la…" Spock murmured, reaching up to hold Jim's face in his hands, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. "Why is it that you see yourself this way? It could not be further from the truth! You are so very, very beautiful; there are no words to describe it. You are like the sun rising, such a light in any darkness." The Vulcan realized suddenly. His fingers drifted towards the psi points on Jim's face, hovering just above, but not touching.

Blinking, Jim's eyes went back to Spock's face, the blank gaze almost meeting the Vulcan's directly. "Spock?"

Spock made sure to project calm and love through the fledgling bond they had. "If I may, Jim? I wish to show you the truth, to show you how beautiful you truly are."

Jim hesitated, and then nodded slightly. Even though he gave his permission, Spock could still sense that quiet, calm sort of denial that lingered in Jim's mind, and knew that it would take a lot of time and love to convince Jim that he deserved the feelings that Spock gave him, and that he truly was beautiful.

Warmth cascaded through him as Spock's fingers settled against his skin, and then he felt the gentle brush of Spock's mind. "My mind to your mind. My thoughts… to your thoughts…"

The meld was easy and simple to slip into; their minds meshing together as though they were meant to be that way. Spock briefly paused to bask in the warm, glowing life of Jim's mind, and then moved deeper. Jim shied from him at first, but after a moment he began to open to Spock's mental touch, allowing him in.

_Show me, t'hy'la…_ Spock murmured in their linked minds. _Show me what makes you so sure of this falsity._

Jim didn't respond with words, he simply brought forward the images that he knew Spock wanted to see. Spock saw flashes of the relationships that Jim had been in, the one-night stands, women that Jim briefly allowed to see him. He saw Jim's brother turn away from him, leave one day without looking back; Winona Kirk look at her child with pain in her face before she left the planet for another mission.

He felt every pang of hurt when everyone turned away from Jim, when no one wanted to play with him when he was a child. He felt every pain when Frank hit him, when his mother ignored him, when Sam told him that he was less, that he was the reason Dad was gone and their mother didn't love them anymore.

Spock moved through these memories, these images, searching for the real Jim. He could feel Jim's sorrow around him, the pain that he kept hidden to everyone in the world. This was the Jim that he never allowed anyone to see, and that Spock felt both privileged and saddened to see.

He found Jim huddled in the center of a maelstrom of dark clouds and raw lightning. The Vulcan strode through the clouds, walking to Jim's side and shrouding him in his mental power even as he wrapped his arms around Jim's shaking shoulders.

Startled blue eyes snapped up to meet his, and Jim's sad face broke into a slight smile. Again Spock was struck with how much that sight made him feel warm inside, as though the sun was shining somewhere inside. _Spock…_ A shaking hand reached up, fingers gliding softly across Spock's cheekbone. _I see you… _

Spock smiled slightly in response, his fingers touching to Jim's gently. _I see you._ he murmured softly, petting Jim's bronzed skin.

_Do you understand now, Spock?_ Jim asked quietly, his eyes saddening again. _Do you see what I am?_

Shaking his head, the Vulcan pressed his cheek into Jim's hand. _I merely see those things that you have been told that are not true. You have shown me what has made you think this way; now allow me to show you what I see. _

Spock pulled Jim with him through the meld, and through Spock, the blond was surprised to see the way that the Vulcan interpreted him. Everything was bright, as though the sun had risen within their linked minds, a shimmery sort of coolness passing across them.

Jim's bright eyes were wide, and he looked to Spock. _Is that… me?_

Nodding, Spock pressed forward, bringing up images of their service together, of the time that they had spent in Montana. There were images of Jim smiling, of the way that he lit up whenever they discovered something new in space, the way that his skin glowed as he connected with the horses in the stables. More images rose, feelings that Jim inspired; the way that his skin felt against Spock's, the softness of his lips, the gentleness of his voice. And most importantly for Spock, the different things that Jim made him feel, the lack of control that the blond inspired within him.

Jim's mind shivered against his own, and somewhere, far away, Spock felt Jim curl against him, cool skin pressed against his own hot body. He tightened both the physical and mental embrace, holding Jim to him lovingly.

_Do you see all the wonder that you are, Jim? _Spock murmured, looking down at the man curled in his arms. _All the beauty that you hold?_

_I am… all these things?_ Jim asked softly, his eyes still scanning the images and feelings that Spock had presented him with. _I… Spock, are you sure about this…?_

The Vulcan frowned faintly. _About what, t'hy'la?_

Jim looked down, his fingers moving nervously against Spock's forearm. _I am so… broken. Do you really want to deal with me and all of my insecurities?_

_Oh Jim… _Spock replied softly. _My Jim… I would rather have you in this fragile state than to have any other being without those issues. _

Jim's face broke into a beautiful smile, and Spock allowed the meld to dissipate, bringing them back to their physical forms. Jim's face fell slightly as he was returned to his blinded eyes, but the feel of Spock's warm fingers gliding across his cheek made the smile return. Their lips met gently, and Spock pressed their foreheads together as their mouths separated.

"My beautiful, Jim." Spock said firmly, his words ancient and powerful. "I love thee."

"I…" Jim hesitated. "I love you too."

Though his voice was shaky and tentative, Spock knew that it was another step, another moment that brought them closer together.


	8. I Surrender

I'm kinda late, aren't I?

-begs forgiveness-

Anywho, I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is; I have finished writing "I See You" so you guys are gonna get updates faster than they have been coming. Probably once a week, just to spread them out a bit.

Bad news is; there's only one more chapter and an epilogue.

I really hope that you guys still like what I'm going with here, and I hope that you enjoy this chapter. There some sexual content in this chapter, though I don't get too descriptive.

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 8

I Surrender

Waking up the next morning was wonderful.

After their experience while still in bed, the two of them had spent the day simply sitting around the house, sharing their meals quietly and helping Jim to heal after the ordeal they had both gone through. Half of the day had been spent with the two of them simply lying on the couch, Jim resting against Spock's chest, their cheeks pressed together as their hands danced around each other on Jim's thigh.

The feelings of warmth and contentment, as well as timid trust and affection that streamed across their light bond were more than enough to keep Spock quiet and content, purring softly in his chest to calm Jim.

Spock awoke with Jim pressed all along his body, the blond's face buried against his neck and his own arms around Jim's slender waist. He could feel Jim's eyelashes shifting against his throat as his eyes moved in his dreams, as well as the man's soft, even breathing gliding across his collarbone. The contact of their naked skin was enough to keep their bond alight, even though Jim's mind was quiet in rest, nothing but sleepy, fleeting thoughts passing between them.

The Vulcan sighed heavily, closing his eyes against the dawn light and putting his nose in Jim's golden hair. His fingers petted gently across the bronze skin of Jim's bare torso, and with a smile he felt the faint stirrings of lust rise in Jim's mind. Even asleep he felt Spock's touch and reacted to it.

Although they hadn't spoken a whole lot all day, the communication that had passed between them had been heartfelt and more meaningful than any words they could have said verbally. The way that Jim had at first shied away from his touches with a timid air that Spock had never seen from the normally confident, flashy James T. Kirk had been interesting, but he had continued to move slowly, allowing Jim to call the shots. His patience had paid off, and Jim's confidence grew as the day wore on.

It was intensely fascinating to Spock to see the difference from the Jim that everyone else saw to the true Jim that he now saw before him. Jim hid every day under a mask, and to see that mask removed and cast aside just for Spock, it made the Vulcan feel quite… privileged. The confidence that he normally displayed was still there, just more subdued as Jim started to realize that what Spock said wasn't a lie.

It would take a lot of time, but Spock believed that with gentle coaxing and continued patience, he would eventually get Jim to believe what he said with complete trust.

Jim shifted against him, breathing in deeply and pressing his face against Spock's throat before easing back and laying his head against the Vulcan's shoulder. Spock smiled, raising his hand to skim the pads of his fingers across Jim's temple. He got a brief glimpse into Jim's dreaming mind, a flash of warmth and sand, and realized that Jim was dreaming of him. Warmth pooled in his stomach and Spock couldn't resist the smile that spread slightly over his lips.

He gently petted his fingers over Jim's brow and down his temple to rest on his cheekbone, stroking softly over the blond's smooth skin. It still amazed him how much Jim inspired him to let go of his control, to allow his human side to come forward, even when he had been brought up all his life to repress that side. Jim was like a key that fit into the lock he had long ago placed on his emotions and his heart, and now that he had found that fit, he was unable to deny whatever Jim asked of him.

There was a soft intake of breath from Jim and those dark eyelashes fluttered slightly; Jim was awakening. Spock lowered his hand, searching out the slender fingers that were resting against his chest and twining their hands together, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin. His arm tightened around Jim's thin waist, hand settling on his hip before going still.

Jim's eyes fluttered open, the brilliant, but blank color staring forward. Jim flexed the fingers in Spock's grip, and then a beautiful smile spread on his lips, squeezing Spock's hand gently. "Spock?"

The Vulcan raised their clasped hands, brushing his lips over Jim's fingers. "Good morning, my beautiful t'hy'la. I trust that you slept well?"

A faint blush passed over the bridge of Jim's nose and the smile grew embarrassed. Ever since their conversation the day before, Spock had taken every available moment to tell Jim how beautiful he was. The embarrassment was something that Spock couldn't help but find endearing, and he was extremely pleased that there was no longer denial in Jim's mind when he heard that word, but a tentative acceptance.

"I slept perfectly." Jim replied, his usual buoyancy coming back as he regained his confidence from the still rather embarrassing comment from Spock. He snuggled his face against Spock's warm shoulder, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly. "You kept me warm all night, so it was perfect."

"I am glad." Spock said, his voice soft. He shifted, leaning to press a kiss against Jim's forehead, resting there for a moment before moving back. "Perhaps you would like to visit the horses today?"

Jim raised his head, eyes passing briefly across Spock's face before settling somewhere around the Vulcan's throat. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Am I… well enough?"

Spock reflexively nodded, and then spoke. "I believe that it would be an intelligent way to exercise your muscles for therapeutic purposes. We simply need to limit the time you remain riding to less time than previous."

The amused note in his voice was transferred to Jim, and Spock was pleased to see the happy gleam in the blond's eyes. "Alright then. Let's do it!" With those words Jim shifted his hands, pushing himself off of Spock's chest and sitting up. He stretched, arching his back in pleasure as Spock heard several cracks from his spine.

As Jim got to his feet Spock followed him up, resting a hand on the small of Jim's back and pressing him forward slightly and leading him towards the bathroom. Jim recognized the way that they were going and glanced over his shoulder towards Spock. His voice was soft and questioning. "Spock?"

"I believe that you require a shower." Spock replied, his voice amused as he opened the door to the bathroom. He pushed Jim forward and followed him inside, drawing the curtain and slinging the towel over the rail. "Everything is in the same place, if you need me I will be just outside the bathroom."

Jim hesitated for a moment, and then reached out before Spock could leave, wrapping his hand in the cloth of the Vulcan's sleeve. "Wait!"

Spock turned, his eyes sliding over Jim's hand before going up to meet searching blue eyes. "What is it, Jim?"

"Stay."

Surprise flowed through Spock, and even though he wanted to, he hesitated a moment more. "Jim, are you certain that this is what you wish?"

Jim nodded, smiling with a new confidence and tilting his head slightly. "Would I have asked if I didn't want it?"

"Of course not." Spock replied, a faint smirk in his voice as he followed Jim back into the bathroom at the blond's beckoning gesture. He closed the door behind him and the sound was a sort of finality as Spock moved forward to turn the shower on and adjust the temperature. Jim was quiet behind him, but the Vulcan could feel the blind gaze on him even as he turned around to look at the beautiful man in front of him.

Jim grinned slightly and then leaned down to remove his pants, standing naked in front of Spock with his eyes turned up towards the Vulcan's face with a sort of shyness in his gaze, even though there was a confident grin on his face. Spock could sense the faint question in Jim's mind, and so he reached forward, passing the tips of his fingers across Jim's shoulder and transmitting warmth and affection through that touch.

"You are beautiful." he said with warmth in his tone. The smile widened and Jim took a step forward, passing by Spock towards the shower with one hand extended to guide him. "Come on, Spock." he said playfully, his smile tilted.

Spock stripped off his own clothes, following Jim into the warm spray of water and closing the shower door behind them. Jim leaned back his head, allowing the water to spray over his blond hair, his eyes closed in pleasure. He turned as Spock came close, his blind eyes searching before a faint hint of sadness passed across his features.

"I hate being blind…" he murmured, reaching out his hands tentatively to place them against Spock's chest before gliding his touch to the Vulcan's shoulders. "I can't see you…"

The faint smile that passed over Spock's face was something that he didn't even bother to hide. "Just because your eyes cannot see does not meant you do not have the capability to examine me, Jim."

Blank eyes flitted up to his face as red darted across Jim's cheeks before his hands started moving again. Even as Jim's fingers started to explore, Spock took a step closer, lifting a hand and gliding his own fingers across Jim's smooth skin. Jim shivered faintly at the combined heat of the Vulcan hand and the water pounding his body, lifting his chin as Spock's hand moved up his throat before going back down his shoulder.

"Come to me, Jim…" Spock murmured, stepping forward to wrap an arm around the smaller man's waist. As their bodies came into contact Jim let out a soft sound of surprise and desire, cheeks flushing and a shiver passing through his form.

Their lips met and Jim lifted his arms, wrapping them around Spock's neck and passing his fingers through the wet black hair. Spock purred softly as his fingers glided over his pointed ears, deepening the touch while skimming his fingers across Jim's spine. Jim's back arched in response, pressing their bodies closer together in a move that made Spock growl softly in his throat.

"God…" Jim whispered. "This is what we've been missing…"

Spock trailed kisses along Jim's throat, pausing near his pulse to answer. "Indeed. I believe that we shall have to make up for lost time…"

Jim groaned, hands clamping on the Vulcan's ears and bringing their lips into violent contact. Spock returned the touch with just as much vigor, and then took it a step further by nudging his knee between Jim's legs and pressing upward.

A surprised gasp of pleasure escaped Jim's lips and his head fell back, hips jerking into the pressure as Spock pushed Jim's back against the shower wall.

"Spock…" Jim hissed out, hands clawing on the Vulcan's shoulders as his body rocked rhythmically against Spock's. Spock only joined the dance, body moving against Jim's as their lips came together again, Jim's fingers tangling in his black hair as they panted against each other.

Spock's fingers glided across Jim's psi points, and the mere brushing of minds made Jim let out a shocked, choked cry, body arching and tensing as he came. Spock followed him a moment after, clutching Jim's body to his chest and muffling his own cry in the curve of the bronzed neck.

They stood panting beneath the warm spray, and then Jim gently, tenderly, brought their lips together again. "Not exactly how I imagined our first time." he murmured, amusement coloring his tone.

"Perhaps we should cleanse ourselves now, as was originally intended." Spock replied, his humor evident as Jim smiled warmly.

"Perhaps."


	9. I Live Through Your Love

Alright, since I won't be able to update next week because of my moving apartments, you guys are lucky! (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it...) You get the last two chapters today, the final chapter and the epilogue.

I just want to say that I feel so lucky to have so many people read and review this story, and I'm so happy that it had so much success, because I certainly didn't expect it. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your reviews and words of wisdom, and I hope that I have entertained you for a time.

Enjoy the final two chapters, and happy fourth of July!

* * *

Chapter 9

I Live Through Your Love

After finishing their shower and dressing, Spock was privy to the warm happiness of Jim's mind as they walked towards the stables. They walked closely, Jim's hand tucked into the crook of Spock's elbow, the Vulcan's fingers of the opposite hand resting lightly on his knuckles. Jim was broadcasting joy of both where they were headed, as well as the presence of Spock as his side, and it made Spock feel an odd sort of satisfaction.

"Will you ride with me, Spock?" Jim asked as they walked onto the dusty concrete floor inside the stables.

Spock couldn't help the faint smile. "Yes, I have already had a horse chosen for me. Perhaps this will be a chance to gain more experience and lessons on the art of being an equestrian."

Jim opened his mouth with a look of confusion on his face, and then there was a flash of guilt and sorrow in his mind before he pushed it down. Spock passed the pad of his thumb over Jim's temple, pressing reassurance through the light link he initiated. "Do not feel guilty, t'hy'la." he murmured. "What is done is done. We must not dwell on the past when we have much to look forward to in the future."

A smile was his answer. "You're right, as usual."

Their moment was interrupted as a nearby door came open and Dak stepped out, a smile coming onto his face as he saw them. "Hey, I was just thinking about contacting you two! How are you doing, Jim? Healing up alright?"

Jim's smile widened. "Yes, I'm doing a lot better. Leg's a lot more healed, even though I still need a little help. I don't need the cane anymore, though, so that's a plus." He shrugged a shoulder. "All in all, it's like four days ago never happened."

Dak grinned in response, clapping a hand on Jim's shoulder that made him start slightly, though he returned the grin with one of his own. "That's good to hear, Jim! I suppose you've come for another ride, and to get the Commander on horseback without stress added?"

A nod was his response. "I only wish I could see him ride; it would be a singular sight indeed. How's Light doing? I still feel bad about what I made him do."

"He's a tough thing, he's doing just fine. He was a bit shaken, but a couple of good days of rest and he was perfectly fine. And he's been missing you, I can tell." Dak said with a lopsided grin, a hand on Jim's elbow to lead him forward. Spock followed behind quietly, content to watch the glow that settled in Jim's skin as they got further into the horse-smelling environment.

Light slung his head over the plastic covered chain as they came closer, letting out a soft whinny as he did. Jim's smile was bright and happy as he extended his hands carefully, settling his fingers against Light's neck. The horse rubbed his head against Jim's side as the blond petted his golden coat, cooing to him softly.

Dak gestured to Spock. "We keep Thunder just down the way; he's three stalls down from Light. Would you like me to help you get him ready?"

Jim waved a hand behind himself. "I'll help him out, if you don't mind."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll go ahead and leave you two alone, I'll be in the office if you need me." Dak replied, turning and striding away from them.

A smile was turned in Spock's direction, and Jim tilted his head. "Thunder?"

"It is the name of the horse they have given me. His full name is Rolling Thunderstorm." Spock replied. "I am unsure as to his breed, but he was easy for me to ride with my limited knowledge."

Jim smiled. "I'll bet I can figure him out. Why don't you introduce me to him?"

Spock lifted Jim's hand, gently tangling their fingers together as he led Jim down the aisle. The bright happiness that drifted through their touch made it well worth it.

Thunder looked towards them as they came towards him, snorting faintly. Jim's hands were gentle as he passed his fingers across the animal's muzzle and neck, feeling down his body and through his mane. His smile was warm. "I've never seen one of this breed, but I know what you are. He's a Friesian, a good choice for you. They're very gentle, but powerful animals; a good choice to carry you."

"I was quite satisfied with his performance in the crisis; he remained calm and responded well to my admittedly less than adequate training when dealing with horses." Spock added, unable to resist the faint smile that passed briefly across his lips as Thunder lowered his head in a plea to have Spock scratch behind his ears. The Vulcan hesitated briefly, but then raised a hand, patting Thunder's neck gently before shifting to pet through the thick mane.

Jim turned to flash a smile in Spock's direction, still carding his fingers through Thunder's wavy mane. "Shall we get him ready then? Why don't we bring them both out into the aisle and tie them next to each other so we can help each other?"

Spock nodded. "That is a logical idea." He reached out and unhooked the chain keeping Thunder in his stall before taking Jim's hand and leading him backwards, the large black horse following them as they returned towards Light's stall. Spock helped Jim lead the Quarter Horse out into the aisle and tie him beside Thunder.

The grooming and tacking went quickly, and soon the two of them were standing in the arena, Jim already on Light's back while Spock readied himself to mount. Thunder stood patiently, one large brown eye on his rider while Spock lifted his foot and placed it in the stirrup before lifting himself into the saddle. It was a different experience, mounting while not under the stress and worry of Jim being missing.

Jim smiled in Spock's direction, and then pressed Light into a walk around the arena, turning his head as he heard the heavy steps of Thunder coming up beside him. The horse was abnormally tall for a Friesian, though only about an inch or two taller than Light, bringing Spock's knee into contact with Jim's. The touch was a point of simultaneous warmth and coolness, something that sent a shiver down Jim's spine.

"I have been informed of a location that I believe you would enjoy, Jim. Perhaps we could ride there together?" Spock turned to look at Jim, a flood of affection blooming in his stomach as Jim looked towards him with surprise on his face before a smile spread across his lips.

"Really?" Jim asked brightly before his smile fell slightly. "Are you sure that it's… safe?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "There is no reason for you to be concerned, I am with you at this time, there is no danger." He reached out to glide a hand over Jim's knee. "I believe it will be helpful for you to be out in the sun."

Jim smiled. "Alright. Did Dak tell you about this?"

"He did. After the… incident he told me that it would be a place of interest for you. He did, however, suggest that a line between our horses would be a logical plan in case something does go wrong." Spock replied.

Another smile greeted him. "Yea, I think I agree with that one. Light's a good horse, but there might be something out there that would startle him. I'm assuming since Dak suggested this it's pretty much safe for me, what…" he gestured to his eyes. "…with my blindness and all."

Spock again stroked his hand over Jim's knee, and then dismounted more gracefully to open the gate and lead them from the arena and into the sunshine. Jim raised his face to the sky, closing his eyes with a smile as they rode away from the stables, Spock quietly leading the way. Thunder responded wonderfully to his commands as they moved past a stand of trees and further into the mountains.

Jim suddenly blinked in surprise, tilting his head. "Is that... a waterfall I hear?"

Spock looked to the blond. "Your hearing has quite improved, Jim. It is indeed; we are nearly there."

The smile breaking across Jim's features was quite wonderful, and Spock momentarily allowed himself to bask in that expression. Jim was broadcasting so many emotions through their light link that Spock had to stop and briefly examine each, finding joy, a hint of fear, pure elation, and a mix of affection and love.

After tying the horses to a nearby post no doubt put here for that purpose, Spock led Jim to the edge of the lake that they had come to; it was small, as was the waterfall, but it was beautiful none the less. Spock smiled at the feel of Jim's delight as they sat at the edge of the water and let their feet soak, the blond leaning into Spock's side as they rested.

"It sounds beautiful..." Jim murmured after a moment, resting his head against Spock's shoulder. "Maybe we could come back after I've regained my sight, so that I could see all of this..."

Spock briefly considered, and then passed a fingertip over Jim's temple. "It is possible for me to show you now, if you wish it."

Jim shifted away slightly to look at him. "A meld? If it felt anything like the last few times, I would kill for it. I've never felt anything so... right in my entire life."

"An accurate way to phrase it." Spock replied with a faint smile before pressing his fingertips to the meld points. Jim's mind blossomed beneath his touch, welcoming him with love and warm, golden light.

The images passed between them, and Jim marveled at each one, blue eyes wide and filled with a sort of wonder. "It is beautiful..." Jim murmured as they eased from each other's minds, his blind eyes fluttering open to scan Spock's features before him. The blond lifted his hands, pausing before pressing them to Spock's cheeks.

The Vulcan went absolutely still, chocolate eyes watching Jim's features as gentle hands glided over Spock's face. Jim's fingers moved over the sharp lines of Spock's face, passing over closed eyelids and down to warm lips before Jim leaned forward with a smile, connecting them with infinite care.

"I love you." Jim whispered as they parted, resting their foreheads together. "Hell if I know when or how it happened, but I've never been more sure of anything else in my life."

Spock gently entangled their fingers, pressing a human kiss to those exquisite lips even as their fingers danced in a Vulcan kiss. "_Taluhk nash-veh k'dular, __t'nash-veh ashayam_." Spock replied, his voice warm.

Jim tilted his head, blinking as he processed the words. "Okay, that sounded amazing, but I have no idea what you just said."

A rumble in Spock's chest was his answer before the Vulcan translated fondly. "I cherish thee, my beloved."

His answer was a brilliant smile and a wave of love from Jim and the blond wrapped his arms around the Vulcan's neck.


	10. All the Colors of Love

Epilogue

All the Colors of Love

"You ready, Jim?"

McCoy's voice was slightly hesitant, but confident at the same time, as he knew that he had finally returned Jim's sight. Spock hovered near his bondmate's shoulder, his fingers ghosting across the small of Jim's back in a gesture of comfort.

Jim nodded. "Yup, let's do this."

He slowly began to open his eyes, wincing faintly as his eyelids fluttered open before finally opening his eyes completely. He blinked, looked around sickbay, and then focused on McCoy. Spock raised an eyebrow as Jim stared for a moment, and the only warning he had was the burst of mischievous amusement across the bond before his mate spoke.

"Geez, a year of blindness and the first thing I see is your ugly face? Maybe I should have stayed blind!"

McCoy glared and cuffed Jim about the ear, making the blond whine before grinning up at his long time friend. With a fond smile, McCoy shook his head before giving Jim a rough hug. "Nice to see your eyes again, kid. I'm glad that I could finally get your sight back."

Jim returned the embrace, clapping the Doctor on the back. "Good work, Bones. And thanks."

"Least I could do." The brunet looked between Jim and his Vulcan First Officer before grinning. "I suppose the two of you will want to have some time alone?"  
Spock couldn't help the faint smile crossing across his face, something that he was comfortable with in the presence of his bondmate and the Doctor who had been his friend for over a year now. "I believe that it would benefit Jim to have time to adjust to having his sight once more."

A snort was his response. "Only you would put it that way; I know perfectly well what Jim will be 'adjusting' to. Go on, get back to your quarters. You've got until tomorrow, Alpha Shift, Doctor's orders."

Jim grinned. "Thanks again, Bones!" He turned towards Spock, and the Vulcan was surprised to see that his eyes were closed.

Confused, Spock reached up and touched his fingers to Jim's cheek, tilting his head slightly. "Why is it that you have closed your eyes, ashayam?"

Another smile was his response. "I want to wait. I want it to just be you and me, all alone. Just like..."

He didn't need to explain, Spock understood.

Together the two of them moved through the ship to their quarters, Jim's eyes remaining closed the entire time. Spock could feel the excitement thrumming in Jim's mind, but he restrained the urge to open his eyes too early. Once the door to their quarters had been closed and locked securely, Jim turned to his mate, pausing and biting his lip.

"Jim?"

The blond shook his head. "It's strange." he murmured. "I've seen you before. Hell, we were together for 2 years and I saw you practically every day. I can remember what you look like, but..."

Spock brushed his fingers across Jim's temple. "It is not the same. Open your eyes, t'hy'la."

Brilliant blue slowly fluttered open, and Jim's eyes moved up from Spock's chest towards his face. The expression was something that Spock had no words for as Jim raised his hands, tracing the familiar Vulcan features with gentle hands as he had done nearly every day for the past year, sure and easy.

Jim smiled. "It's nothing like what I remembered." he whispered, cradling Spock's cheek in his hand.

"Am I not what you wished?" Spock asked idly, raising an eyebrow.

A light laugh answered him. "Of course not."

Both eyebrows shot up.

Jim's smile spread into his eyes, his entire demeanor glowing like the sun. "You are so much more beautiful than my memories or our melds could have ever shown me."

Spock couldn't help the wash of amusement that flowed through him, and he took his mate into his arms, pressing a kiss to his waiting lips. He brushed a hand through the golden hair, and then smiled. "I see you."

The smile only brightened.

"I see you."


End file.
